If my first labour had been filmed for the television series 'One Born every Minute' it would have required an entire episode, and then some! So when baby number two was due, I was very blasé about the fact, and certain that whatever happened we would have plenty of time.
So this time last year I had bid hubby farewell on a night out in central London and had a date with chocolates, a magazine and a long soak in the bath. Child number one having just gone to bed happily, baby decided that he had other plans: my waters broke round about the time that hubby was hopping onto the tube for a 40 minute journey.
'It's fine,' I told myself, calling the hospital, an emergency babysitter and my parents, before leaving a fairly calm message on Dave's phone telling him to turn around and come back. A trip to the hospital to be assessed lasted no more than half an hour before we were heading homewards again 'to get some rest' before labour began. An hour later we were back on our way to hospital, with me trying to control the urge to push.
To cut a short story even shorter, baby narrowly avoided being born in the empty reception area of the hospital just after midnight, and a very kind maintenance man helped us up to the delivery suite with the reassuring words as we were entering the lift that he had "delivered a baby four years ago" so knew what to do!
Thinking back to a year ago, I have some many wonderful memories: of first cuddles; first feeds; watching the man I know and love as he changes and dresses our new perfect baby who I don't yet know, but love beyond belief; lying next to him on the ward as daylight started creeping through the blinds, unable to take my eyes of this tiny peaceful bundle that God had seen fit to gift to us; committing his little life into God's hands.
One might be born every minute, but each one is precious and unique and planned by God. And as we celebrate the first year of my little one's life this weekend I want to thank Him for our son and commit him again to God.
Friday 27 April 2012
Tuesday 24 April 2012
Sleep, blessed sleep!
Sleep is very important in our household: both hubby and I enjoy sleep enormously and are definitely not morning people. I was aware that this would be challenged when babies arrived on the scene, but naively hoped that it would be very short lived!
Sleep is a very emotive subject with parents of small children because lack of it (on the parts of both parents and children) can literally make or break your day. Then there are the different approaches to sleep and the 'experts' who will argue that children should be on a strict routine from day one and must learn to sleep on their own, or the other 'experts' who argue that co-sleeping is by far the best thing for babies to develop bonds with their parents.
I have friends at both ends of the spectrum and would argue that neither approach is right or wrong, but that if the chosen options work for the individual families then all is good.
For us, co-sleeping could never be an option because I know that I would never get any sleep for worrying about the baby in my bed, so with our eldest we opted for our own version of the crying-it-out approach, which involved hubby sitting outside the door and going in to baby every couple of minutes to stroke and reassure him (all while I was in another room trying to get some sleep between feeds!) I have to say that for us, this approach worked and we have an eldest child who from three months has slept well and knows that night time is for sleeping.
However, with baby number 2 (it's supposed to be easier second time round, right?) this approach didn't work and by 3 months old we had a baby and two parents who were utterly distraught come bedtime. Nothing settled him except feeding him to sleep, but then he would wake up as soon as I put him back in his crib. Because I knew that co-sleeping would not work for me we had completely run out of ideas.
Everything reached it's peak on holiday last June when I had been lying on the floor (Baby J was in a pop-up cot) stroking, shushing and generally trying to calm him to sleep (after hubby had already tried for a long time and failed.) I suddenly, almost audibly, heard God telling me to pray. Not the kind of desperate 'please God, help him to sleep' prayers that I'd been praying up until that point, but really pray. So I did.
"Father fill J with your love and your peace" was the phrase that seemed to have been put on my heart, and which I started repeating over and over. Almost immediately, the crying ceased. I felt God telling me to keep praying; that J would start crying again, but that I should keep praying and then he would settle to sleep eventually. J started crying again, I carried on praying. I can honestly say that it felt like a real spiritual battle was taking place.
"Father fill J with your love and your peace." As I prayed those words over and over I became aware that my child is God's child; that He wanted to love and protect him as much, and more even, than I did. I realised that God knows our love for our children because He gave us that love.
Eventually J stopped crying and fell asleep. We had a few more nights of those prayers and slowly my little one started to calm down at bed times. It didn't make everything perfect but he seemed from then on to settle into a better pattern of sleep.
So why do I write this now? Because the other night I was reminded of those prayers as my little one decided to start protesting at bedtime again. It didn't take long repeating those prayers before he fell asleep though and after a couple of nights we were back to normal (which involves a few minutes of protesting before he falls asleep cuddling his teddy!).
There will be people who will argue I should just have picked my crying baby up and given him a cuddle. Maybe they are right. But just maybe, the whole situation taught me to remember that praying to our Father for His intervention, is the best thing I can do for my children, and that His loving arms are best of all.
Sleep is a very emotive subject with parents of small children because lack of it (on the parts of both parents and children) can literally make or break your day. Then there are the different approaches to sleep and the 'experts' who will argue that children should be on a strict routine from day one and must learn to sleep on their own, or the other 'experts' who argue that co-sleeping is by far the best thing for babies to develop bonds with their parents.
I have friends at both ends of the spectrum and would argue that neither approach is right or wrong, but that if the chosen options work for the individual families then all is good.
For us, co-sleeping could never be an option because I know that I would never get any sleep for worrying about the baby in my bed, so with our eldest we opted for our own version of the crying-it-out approach, which involved hubby sitting outside the door and going in to baby every couple of minutes to stroke and reassure him (all while I was in another room trying to get some sleep between feeds!) I have to say that for us, this approach worked and we have an eldest child who from three months has slept well and knows that night time is for sleeping.
However, with baby number 2 (it's supposed to be easier second time round, right?) this approach didn't work and by 3 months old we had a baby and two parents who were utterly distraught come bedtime. Nothing settled him except feeding him to sleep, but then he would wake up as soon as I put him back in his crib. Because I knew that co-sleeping would not work for me we had completely run out of ideas.
Everything reached it's peak on holiday last June when I had been lying on the floor (Baby J was in a pop-up cot) stroking, shushing and generally trying to calm him to sleep (after hubby had already tried for a long time and failed.) I suddenly, almost audibly, heard God telling me to pray. Not the kind of desperate 'please God, help him to sleep' prayers that I'd been praying up until that point, but really pray. So I did.
"Father fill J with your love and your peace" was the phrase that seemed to have been put on my heart, and which I started repeating over and over. Almost immediately, the crying ceased. I felt God telling me to keep praying; that J would start crying again, but that I should keep praying and then he would settle to sleep eventually. J started crying again, I carried on praying. I can honestly say that it felt like a real spiritual battle was taking place.
"Father fill J with your love and your peace." As I prayed those words over and over I became aware that my child is God's child; that He wanted to love and protect him as much, and more even, than I did. I realised that God knows our love for our children because He gave us that love.
Eventually J stopped crying and fell asleep. We had a few more nights of those prayers and slowly my little one started to calm down at bed times. It didn't make everything perfect but he seemed from then on to settle into a better pattern of sleep.
So why do I write this now? Because the other night I was reminded of those prayers as my little one decided to start protesting at bedtime again. It didn't take long repeating those prayers before he fell asleep though and after a couple of nights we were back to normal (which involves a few minutes of protesting before he falls asleep cuddling his teddy!).
There will be people who will argue I should just have picked my crying baby up and given him a cuddle. Maybe they are right. But just maybe, the whole situation taught me to remember that praying to our Father for His intervention, is the best thing I can do for my children, and that His loving arms are best of all.
Saturday 7 April 2012
Hope
If I'm totally honest, I have found the last few weeks hard work (hence lack of blogging!). We have all been suffering with a variety of colds, coughs, and vomiting bugs, and the daily routine of cooking, cleaning, toddler groups (or not, as we've been ill), swings, shopping, washing and so on, has felt less of a daily routine, and more of a daily drudge.
Yesterday morning after our plans to go as a family to a Good Friday service had been scuppered by our youngest coming down with a vomiting bug on Thursday night I was at my wits end and was taking my frustrations out on God because I felt like He wasn't listening to our prayers, and that He didn't care about me or my needs.
It was at that point that hubby showed me, through my tears, the verses that he had just read in his Morning Prayer Book.
Yesterday morning after our plans to go as a family to a Good Friday service had been scuppered by our youngest coming down with a vomiting bug on Thursday night I was at my wits end and was taking my frustrations out on God because I felt like He wasn't listening to our prayers, and that He didn't care about me or my needs.
It was at that point that hubby showed me, through my tears, the verses that he had just read in his Morning Prayer Book.
A Song of Lamentation
1 Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? •
Look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow,
Look and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow,
2 Which was brought upon me, •
which the Lord inflicted
on the day of his fierce anger.
which the Lord inflicted
on the day of his fierce anger.
3 For these things I weep;
my eyes flow with tears; •
for a comforter is far from me,
one to revive my courage.
my eyes flow with tears; •
for a comforter is far from me,
one to revive my courage.
4 Remember my affliction and my bitterness, •
the wormwood and the gall!
the wormwood and the gall!
5 But this I call to mind, •
and therefore I have hope:
and therefore I have hope:
6 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, •
his mercies never come to an end;
his mercies never come to an end;
7 They are new every morning; •
great is your faithfulness.
great is your faithfulness.
8 ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, •
‘therefore I will hope in him.’
‘therefore I will hope in him.’
9 The Lord is good to those who wait for him, •
to the soul that seeks him.
to the soul that seeks him.
10 It is good that we should wait quietly •
for the salvation of the Lord.
for the salvation of the Lord.
11 For the Lord will not reject for ever; •
though he causes grief, he will have compassion,
though he causes grief, he will have compassion,
12 According to the abundance of his steadfast love; •
for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.
for he does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone.
Lamentations 1.12, 16a,b; 3.19, 21-26, 31-33
As I read these verses, I truly felt as if God had written them for me to see. He knew that I needed to be reminded of His presence and His faithfulness.
And what amazing verses to be reminded of today, Easter Saturday, as we wait in hope for tomorrow; as we remind ourselves of Jesus followers and what they must have been feeling on that first Easter Saturday. Hope had been lost and they, as far as they knew, had been left alone to their sorrow.
But that was not the end of the story. There is in fact, no end to the story: "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end." As we celebrate Easter tomorrow I pray that we may remember this truth, through all things.
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