Farewell Facebook!

As we drove off the ferry at Dover yesterday after 10 wonderful days holidaying in France, I turned on my phone and did three things: checked text messages, listened to voicemail, and then clicked on the Facebook app.

Only two hours previously I'd been chatting to hubby about how lovely it was to have such a fabulous time, uninterrupted by modern social media. But then as soon as it was available, I just couldn't resist.

The thing is, after 10 days without Facebook (which I didn't miss at all) I realised that there are things about it which I am really starting to question in terms of how I use my time and the values I want to impart to my children. I will often go on the internet for '5 minutes' when the boys go down for their lunchtime nap and still be there an hour and a half later, having given myself just enough time to sort the house out before they wake up, and having no time to relax (I do not count being at the computer as relaxing!). When my children are older I will make sure that there are limits to the amount of time they spend on the computer so I also need to start limiting myself, and Facebook has become, for me, too time consuming.

I am also aware that by the time my boys are ready to have a mobile phone, all phones will have internet access and the levels of control I have over what my children can access will be far less than it has been in recent years. So if I'm not going to be able to ban phone use, I at least need to be setting a good example about how I use my phone. Being on the Facebook app while my eldest is in the bath is not, I have decided, a good example!

And then there is the tendency many of us have on Facebook to present an unrealistically positive view of life. I know that I do this, and I know from talking to friends that many of them do to. Why share with 200 Facebook 'friends' when something is not working out, or the fact that you've had a rubbish day and yelled at the kids, or why post an unflattering photo of yourself when you could choose one that makes you look like everything a yummy mummy should?!

 I have decided that I don't want to live lovely moments to then think how I can work it into a status update or take a photograph of my children looking adorable and then head straight for a computer to upload it. I don't want my children thinking that something is only valid if it's shared with everyone through Facebook, or telling someone thank you or that you love them only counts if you say it via a Facebook update.

Facebook has it's good points too and it has made it easy to keep in touch with genuine friends where otherwise life and its business would mean we may not be in such regular contact; or where friends live such a distance away, it's been the only way of us knowing what each others' children look like. And those are the aspects I will miss when I sign off.

Instead of whiling away hours finding out what people who I've not seen for 10 years are doing and looking through photos of their children who I will never meet, I will try to concentrate my time on communicating better with the people I truly care about. It doesn't matter that the rest of the world won't be in on it when I thank a friend for a lovely night out or tell my husband that I love him, or email a few photos of the boys to people who I know genuinely care about receiving them. 

Instead of enjoying a moment and then thinking about how I can write it into a status update, I will try to simply just enjoy the moment. And when I look through my holiday photos I will enjoy them for what they are and the memories they bring back for me, rather than worrying about whether or not to add them to my Facebook profile. 

Facebook has been fun, but for me, it's time to say farewell.