Second child

When my eldest was born my Mum gave me a lovely book entitled 'Meditations for New Mothers' by Beth Wilson Saavedra and when I was flicking through it the other day, I came across this quotation from Amy D'Agrosa:

I eagerly counted each of my first child's milestones. With my second, all I want to do is hold him like a baby.

It really struck a chord with me as my littlest was 5 months old yesterday and I almost feel that he is growing up too quickly. 

With my first I was looking forward to the time when he could enjoy being on his tummy and then when he had mastered that, I couldn't wait for him to sit up because I thought it would make both our lives more fun. When he'd been sitting for a while I started to hope that he would crawl soon. And so on. 

I enjoyed each moment but enjoyed it as a step to the next achievement. This time around however, because I know that each phase is so short-lived and because I look at my eldest and wonder where the time has gone, I am truly relishing each moment of my little one's babyhood. During the night feeds in the early days I would enjoy just being with him in mutual sleepiness, knowing that the time would soon pass when he'd need me to get through the night; when he gurgles away to himself I am not wondering what his first word will be and when. That's not to say I don't delight in the new little things he is learning day by day; only that I am not eagerly anticipating the next phase because I know that it will come soon enough, so I can just enjoy him for who he is and what he is doing at this moment in time. 

This got me thinking about my relationship with God as Father and I really hope that he views me like the second child the quotation above refers to. I am sure that he wants for me to do more, to achieve my potential and that he encourages me to do so. But I am also certain in His love for me regardless of what I do or fail to do. 

When I cuddle my baby boy and am overwhelmed with love for him, I am also awed by the fact that God loves me in exactly the same way, only more so. God is encouraging me for the future to become the person he fully desires me to be, but He also loves me in the moment, for who I am now, and just wants to draw me closer to him.